(T/N: Trigger warning; mentions and suggestion of self-harm.)
She stood in the same spot as she did that night of the first admission day.
It wasn’t as cold as that day, but she could feel the night breeze deep in her bones.
‘It’s cold…’
The moment she thought of that, a sense of guilt washed over her again.
‘Saeum would’ve felt colder and must’ve suffered more that day…!’
She felt tears pool in her eyes, but she bit her lips and held them in.
The voice of her parents asking her what good she is if she keeps crying pressed hard on her mind.
Even though they completely cut off Kwon Lena from their lives, the hurtful words they said to her were still often lingering in her mind.
After hearing her parents’ criticism in her head after a long time, a thought suddenly came to her.
‘Am I abandoned now…?’
She felt at ease at first when she suddenly lost contact with her parents since that meant she no longer has to endure being cursed daily.
But as time went by, Kwon Lena became anxious.
She wonders if her parents abandoned her.
Once such doubts arose, more and more questions came to her mind.
‘If I weren’t here, maybe unnie and our parents would be at peace? Maybe they wouldn’t get involved with the Hwanmong Auction? Maybe my parents were right when they said it was all my fault. Is that why they abandoned me now?’
As she was driven into a corner by her predicament, all of the remarks of her abusive parents felt like the truth.
There are parents who abuse their children for absolutely no reason at all, and Kwon Lena knows that.
But her parents treated Lee Yeoreum as normal parents would.
On Lee Yeoreum’s high school graduation day, the three attended the ceremony behind Kwon Lena’s back and the image of them looked like a not-so-bad family.
Thinking of that image made Kwon Lena feel that everything was truly her fault. 𝚏𝚛ee𝐰𝗲𝚋n𝐨𝘃𝗲l.𝐜𝐨m
‘Was I really a bad kid that my parents really abandoned me?’
She felt miserable at the thought of being thrown away by her family.
Self-loathing followed the feeling of misery.
‘Maybe Euishin shouldn’t have saved me that day.’
Her wonderful and dazzling life at Eungwang High started with the help of Jo Euishin and Ham Geunhyung.
Her classmates were all good kids too, so everyone relied on each other even if they had a hard time.
She felt a glimpse of happiness when she recalled her first meeting with Kwon Jein, and when she received a violin and lessons from her.
However, at this moment in her life, Kwon Lena couldn’t bear Saeum of April’s kindness.
She failed because she couldn’t concentrate on her studies and on the exams.
Even Kwon Jein noticed that Kwon Lena was unable to perform and so their lessons were stopped for a while.
Hanging out with her classmates, studying, and even playing the violin.
Kwon Lena has no confidence in doing any of those things anymore.
‘…Is it really a relief that I’m alive?’
She has many reasons why she wanted to live.
But now, Kwon Lena thought that she wasn’t worthy of being alive.
She walked closer to the railings, preparing for her second attempt.
When she began to take her first steps, the wind suddenly blew hard and her ankle got caught in something.
Just as she got close to the railings, something in the darkness flew towards her.
That something landed just a few steps away from her.
After a few moments, she recognized his identity and she began to speak weakly.
“Euishin…?”
* * *
Kwon Lena asked reflexively before closing her mouth.
I could see her struggling with carrying the violin case in her arms.
“…”
Kwon Lena was standing dangerously close to the edge and I didn’t know what to say.
After thinking hard, I began to speak.
“The other kids are waiting for you. Let’s go.”
“…You go ahead.”
I didn’t say anything more, but I also didn’t move.
Kwon Lena seemed to be determined to have her second attempt.
I was anxious at the thought of my playable character thinking of death, but I tried not to make it obvious.
‘Let’s think calmly. I need to figure out a way to save Kwon Lena.’
I can overpower her here and take her to a safe place, or I can ask Professor Ham Geunhyung for help.
But that will be the worst thing to do and that should be my last resort.
If I do that, Kwon Lena will make a third attempt and I might not be able to figure out where she’ll try.
There’s a possibility that the “destiny” skill or power would activate just like last time, but I didn’t want to risk Kwon Lena’s life on luck.
‘Should I reveal that Kwon Jein is her aunt? Let her know that there’s a family that values her?’
It was difficult to judge, but it could work.
Her adoptive parents were trash, but her sister treated her well.
But she’s not trying to make the second attempt because she doesn’t have a family that cares about her.
Perhaps the truth about her birth might be an unexpected poison.
Kwon Jein, the great violinist and player, might be overwhelmed by guilt if she realizes that she didn’t do anything at the auction.
‘As someone who was there… Should I transform to ‘that word’ and make Kwon Lena realize that there’s nothing she could do at that auction? Would that relieve her guilt?’
I calculated things and even thought about revealing my identity, but that could be extremely detrimental.
I could only guess what Kwon Lena would think when she finds out that I, a freshman in the same high school she attends, was the one who saved Saeum of April.
In the end, I decided to wait.
It would be helpful to understand the decisive reason why Kwon Lena came here.
‘I should wait. I should listen to her words first before I can objectively think about what I should say.’
I hated seeing Kwon Lena standing in this place.
But I have to endure it.
After a long while, Kwon Len spoke again.
“…Don’t waste your time on me, Euishin. I’m not worthy of it.”
Kwon Lena’s voice was deeper than usual as if she was holding back her tears.
Hearing her say those words made me feel like I was going to explode, but I kept my calm and asked her.
“Why do you think so?”
“…You know because you heard it on the first day of admissions, right Euishin? That I was in the Hwanmong Auction.”
Kwon Lena was speaking as if she had given up.
She kept talking about the auction.
“It wasn’t just once that I was there. It’s my third time going this year. The players didn’t care about the things that were being sold…! And among them…”
She lowered her head as if she couldn’t bear to say Saeum’s name.
“My friend was there and I only watched…”
“…”
“But I didn’t get any punishment? My parents were right. I am a bad kid… So I need to get punished now. I don’t have the confidence to go to school or to keep studying. Even the violin…”
As if she had lost her energy, Kwon Lena’s words stopped.
I reflected on her every word as I watched her breathe heavily.
Hwanmong Auction.
The players who attended that auction.
Kwon Lena’s guilt.
As I combined those things in my head over and over again, I thought of something I could say to Kwon Lena.
‘I should tell her.’
I made up my mind.
“You didn’t just watch that day. If you’re a bad kid as you’ve said, you would’ve just stayed put and watched.”
“…?”
“You tried to get the list of attendees, didn’t you?
Kwon Lena looked up with a questioning expression.
It may have seemed like I said anything just to appease her.
“…What are you saying? I told you! I couldn’t do anything!”
Kwon Lena’s last words resounded like a scream.
I replied flatly.
“No. I was there so I know.”
“What do you…”
She looked at me with clouded eyes, not understanding what I meant.
‘If she doesn’t believe me, I need to make her see with her own eyes.’
I activated my light skill again.
<Light skill, Player Identity activated.>
I chose Yeom Junyeol.
I borrowed his appearance, and my body began to change.
Kwon Lena’s eyes were wide open.
<Using character’s light skill, Summoning Hongryong.>
Fwaaaa!
A red dragon appeared through the gap in space.
Hongryong wrapped in flames looked down anxiously at Kwon Lena.
“Red Wall Thief…”
Hongryong’s eyes briefly closed after hearing those words, but they opened again, and continued to anxiously look at her.
I spoke with determination.
“…Anyway. I know because I was there.”
“Y-you know that I couldn’t do anything, don’t you sir?!”
Kwon Lena suddenly using honorifics made me flustered.
I deactivated my light skill because I thought It would add to Kwon Lena’s stress and confusion if I stayed in this appearance for a long time.
When Hongryong disappeared and I returned to being Jo Euishin, Kwon Lena looked relieved.
I decided to provide more evidence that Kwon Lena was nothing but brave that day.
“You tried to let me go that day. And you threw away the coin. You didn’t swear to be silent.”
That day, the recently-turned 17-year-old Kwon Lena approached me and talked to me.
— Yeom Junyeol sunbaenim… You didn’t have to come to a place like this.
— It’s very late so why don’t you go home? I don’t think your parents are here, sunbaenim, so won’t they be worried?
Not only that, but as I said, Kwon Lena didn’t use the coin that would swear her to be silent.
“You don’t have it with you.”
If her parents discovered what she did that night, they would’ve punished her greatly.
But Kwon Lena had the courage to do what she did.
She didn’t have the power to save Saeum of April, but that doesn’t mean she was a mere bystander that night.
“Among the participants in that auction, you were the only one who told me to run away. You were the only one who didn’t have the coin’s mark in your palm.”
Tears began to pool in Kwon Lena’s round eyes.
“You did do something that night.”
Fall.
The violin case that Kwon Lena held fell to the ground.
She covered her mouth with her hands and began to cry.
“Mmph… hhu…”
The violin case opened when it fell, and I saw what was inside it.
It contained things that she cherished.
A picture taken with someone who seems to be her sister.
A practice violin, bow, and reserve strings that she received from the string club.
A group photo with our class.
A ribbon decorated with royal blue sapphire worn by Kwon Jein when they performed together.
And there was an envelope that Kwon Lena returned with a ribbon she had dropped in the past.
‘She still has that ribbon.’
Most of those precious things she kept, she gained after she entered Eungwang High.
“I’ll help you if you want to tell it to Saeum someday. He knows who I am.”
Kwon Lena nodded several times as she continued to cry.
While waiting for her to settle down, I picked up something that fell from the violin case.
I picked up the group photo that we took at the deck of the Cheonja.
That’s when…
I felt someone’s presence.
“…Who’s there?”
I was completely off-guard, but it’s not for an ordinary person to deceive a player’s senses and be able to approach this much.
Of course, a normal person doesn’t exist in Eungwang High, but if he can stifle his presence at this high of a level, he’s a very good player.
‘I made sure I guarded the entrance to the rooftop though… Don’t tell me…! He climbed up the wall?!”
On the other side of the wall, someone who was stifling his presence seemed to have climbed along the wall of a 20-story building.
The figure hanging from the railing on the opposite side of Kwon Lena looked this way, with tears running down his face.
It was Mok Wooram.